Ebert and Roeper

Quite honestly one of my favorite parts of international travel is the chance to watch practically unlimited movies without feeling guilty about the bad usage of time (I know, shallow right?).

I had the chance to take a very quick trip back to the US in February to be a maid of honor in the wedding of the dearest of friends. At some point during the flight and the 28+ hours of traveling, I realized I was deeply disturbed. I had just finished watching three movies in rapid-fire succession, all of them revolving around the ever-popular topic of “Love,” and I was really upset. Shaken, at how this holy, sacred, and pristine thing called Love could be so thoughtlessly violated and muddied. Regretful, that I had given them my time even if I was captive on a plane thousands of feet up in the air.

I should, in good conscience, be embarrassed by my viewing selections and I also should know better than to expect any sort of veracity to come from a Hollywood chick-flick.

My only consolation is that they at least caused some sort of deeper reflection for me.

500 Days of Summer has this internet synopsis: “An offbeat romantic comedy about a woman who doesn't believe true love exists, and the young man who falls for her.”

I found myself engaged in the story and liking it because it was narrated (I love narration for some odd reason; maybe it brings me back to my Winnie the Pooh Days..), it was quirky and offbeat, it was non-chronological, and it did not have a happy ending (I find an odd cathartic satisfaction in sad endings…).

The final narration of the movie drew me in:

“Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin and end with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life….If Tom had learned anything it was that you can’t ascribe great cosmic significance to a single earthly event; coincidence, that’s all anything ever really is – coincidence. Tom had finally learned there are no miracles.”

…and this from a movie about love (?!?!?!).

The second movie I watched, sorry to say, was called The Ugly Truth. Your synopsis for this one reads: “A romantically challenged morning show producer is reluctantly embroiled in a series of outrageous tests by her chauvinistic correspondent to prove his theories on relationships and help her find love. His clever ploys, however, lead to an unexpected result.”

Wow. Really? Unexpected? About as unexpected as any other entirely predictable romantic comedy….My point isn’t the bad acting or the bad plot though. My point is the Lie that was represented as Love. Love as physical attraction, sex, greed, instant satisfaction, personal fulfillment, frugality, transient and temporal. I could go on.

In fact I did. I was seriously so saddened that these pictures of love are what educates teen girls and feeds the longings of lonely single women that I got tears in my eyes (some would say I was only suffering from travelers fatigue, but I argue no.).

The most reasonable and cleansing thing I could think to do was to read perhaps one of the greatest sources of authority on the topic of Love….the Love Chapter from the Bible (1 Corinthians 13). Maybe out of desperation to set the record right, I made a list. A list of what God calls Love versus what my world had just called love. When it comes right down to it, a list of Love vs. lust.

I don’t think I’ll detail out my list here. Maybe you’d like to take on the project for yourself, but when my list was finished it came down to the difference of opinion between love as YOU or love as ME. You versus Me.

As it turns out Love continued to be a theme while I was in the US – I attended a wedding and lived through another Valentine’s Day. I did some good reflection, shed some tears, had some deep convictions, and had a heart to heart conversation with my sister about what is and what is not Love.

And I have some thoughts. They are not perfect and they are not complete, but single or married, male or female, whose really are?

What I’ve come to realize is that Love as I understand it, Love that is given and made possible by God, is not really at all how most people in 2010 live it or see it.

I know that many people my age are scared off or turned off by the idea of marriage or permanent commitment because in their minds marriage equals a requirement to give up rights, a requirement to compromise, and a requirement to change habits they would rather hang on to. At some point past the honeymoon the relationship will become more about work and monotony than bliss and excitement; and a struggle will ensue in which each person will try to change the other into their more ideal idea of a spouse.

Sad.

I realize Love is hard. Really hard at times. But in any sort of relationship where love is involved (be it marriage, mother-daughter, sister-brother, friends…), I think love becomes simplified when it becomes about YOU not ME. If I love you, really love you, than it will be about how I can sacrifice for YOU, not what I have to sacrifice; I will want YOU to have everything you like and love and need, and will not worry about what I miss or have to change; I will fight so that YOU get the bigger (and middle) piece of brownie and the warmer softer blanket and the less smelly jobs around the house, instead of remembering and worrying about what I’m missing. These things are not romantic-love bound, they are pervasive among people who Love.

I realize that sometimes love is more about what you don’t do than about what you do. I’m not referring to loving someone by not hitting them or something negative like that; sometimes I think even things that look or sound kind and loving are damaging because they are done or said for selfish reasons. I know, that sounds weird. But love is about seeing past the now to the what will be, seeing the person you will be in the future and wanting the best for you in that future, whether I’m there or not.

A song I like spells out our world’s pale version of love like this:

But I give myself to what looks like love

And I sell myself for what feels like love

And I pay to get what is not love

And all just because I see things upside down

(Derek Webb, What is Not Love)

….When in truth Love, that true Love with a capital “L” is completely free, but inexplicably costly….Costly, yet intended to be given extravagantly. Extravagant, but intended for everyday jeans-and T-shirt use.

Pictorial Prayer

please pray for Opio, one of Hope Alive!'s high school students. He had an emergency appendectomy 3 weeks ago and because of this has missed the first 4-5 weeks of the school term; he will have to work hard to catch up. His family has had an especially difficult time lately; last month his single mother and 1 year old brother were hospitalized after being severely burned. Opio has an exuding friendliness, is very smart, helps his mother making bead jewelry that gets sold in the US.

Reconstruction

Hi there family, friends, faithful and not-so-faithful readers....

Just a small note to tell you about the "reconstruction" I hope you will be finding on my blog.

I've had many people tell me that they read my blog but would like to hear more concrete details of what exactly it is I'm doing. I've struggled with that request simply because I myself have a hard time getting through a blog that sounds like a "Dear Diary" entry of the day.

But I want to do better. So many of you encourage me in a variety of ways and I want to improve how I communicate just what it is you are doing by supporting me.

So, here's my goal, spelled out so that maybe I'll have to be a bit more accountable to myself and to you. I'm going to try my best to offer you a better view of what it is I actually do, but hopefully in way that is easy enough to read through, and hopefully on at least a bi-monthly basis.

If you like the way my blog has been thus far, not to worry, I'm a typing-it-out-visual kind of of processor, so you'll continue to read about what I'm thinking, feeling, hearing.....

So many of you tell me that you pray for me, and that means so so much. Since you are faithful in doing that, I want to help you know how to pray, so look for a weekly picture prayer request.

I hope I can make good on these new plans and I hope you'll continue reading.

Ugandan Certified Nurse now at Hope Alive!

Hope Alive! reached another milestone and set a new standard as the program gained a Ugandan-certified nurse to its staff this last week.

While Kacie Josifek joined the Hope Alive program last October, she was finally granted her Uganda Nursing License Certificate this last week in February.

The process for obtaining this professional license for the Hope Alive! nurse involved a rigorous interview process, working at Nsambya Hospital in Kampala for 4 weeks, as well as countless trips, phone calls, and visits to the local nurse's council.

Even though Kacie already had a US nursing degree and experience, this process and licensing was an important step as it not only brings official recognition to the medical component of Hope Alive!, but also helps the organization to comply with Uganda's legal and ethical requirements and boosts partnerships with the local healthcare system.

Setting standards

Hope Alive! is currently working to set health and wellness standards for its 500+ sponsored children.

Readers native to the US are familiar with school health standards.

The Florida Department of Health requires that "students in grades kindergarten through 12th grade who are making their initial entry into a Florida school must present a record of a physical examination completed within the past 12 months."

Similarly, the California Department of Health Care Services has "the requirement of having a completed health assessment 18 months before or up to 90 days after enrolling in first grade," which includes a health history, physical examination; dental, nutritional, and developmental assessment; vision and hearing screening; as well as blood and urine tests.

In places where these requirements are considered normal, their benefits are taken for granted.

In Uganda a child is enrolled in school based solely on his/her ability to pay school fees.

Reaching for healthy

Hope Alive! now has the goal of giving its children the same chances of healthy living that the same school-aged child in the US would have.

To begin, Kacie has begun assessing the Hope Alive! children of Kampala by getting accurate health histories and physical exams.

Last month, Hope Alive! held

its first "school physical exams," where children had their vital signs, height, weight, ears, and eyes, checked.

For most, this was their very first physical exam.

They plan to keep this as a sustainable part of their program as now this will become part of the enrollment process to new Hope Alive! children.

Kacie continues to say, "I'm really excited because I get to include and mentor some older Hope Alive! students who are interested in medical professions. This is essential not only because I need people to help me, but also because they are the ones who can give back to this program and their country when they become doctors or nurses."

Two of Hope Alive!'s brightest students help with physical exams. Alfred is applying to nursing school and Moses is studying orthopedics.

wrinkled

Tomorrow, as I'm sure you're well aware, is Valentine's Day, and so a small reflection apportioned to Love. If you're single or just bitter please don't hate me or throw up. Just a short story, I promise.

Tonight my parents and I took a card and cake over to our neighbors. It is their 64th wedding anniversary tomorrow, Valentine's Day. "She" showed us the bouquet of flowers her husband had given her - a big bunch of pink and white carnations, tied with a plastic red bow in a vase. "He" shuffles about the house by necessity of a walker and too many surgeries, and "she" wears a wedding ring on a wrinkled hand that is bruised from taking daily blood thinners.

She giggled and blushed lightly as she showed us, saying "It feels like we're dating again."

Enough said.